Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
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He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"