I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
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Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
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There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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