We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag