Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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