He had one of those small greek statue penises
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I party with great urgency now.
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