You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
found the other keg... it's in the tree
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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