just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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