We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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