I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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