come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
ttyl tear gas
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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