can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
