Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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