Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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