WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
