I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize