it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
