So drunk its hurt
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
