I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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