This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
