My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
birth control should be required to get into college
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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