At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
