I like to think it a success when the cops are called
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
