Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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