Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
