i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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