Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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