I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish I only lived at night.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
