More tranny stories later!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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