My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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