im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
