I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
organizing the empties. That sober.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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