The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
