I feel great
I just peed on a car
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
