My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Randomize
