I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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