I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
