but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
