problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
