You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
