Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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