The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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