she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
