If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
That accounts for only three of the penises
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
