So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
