I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
