OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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