He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
