Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize