do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
