I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
