Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
