I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
