Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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