Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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