nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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