The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
