We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
