The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
