it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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