Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
