Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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