Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
