Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
