did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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