he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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