I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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