Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
