I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
