Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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