If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
