Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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